


Say Geronimo

by Peaceandunity (UnityisKey)



Series: Destroying preconceived notions through friendship [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Earworm, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Lessons, Letters, Potions Class, Ridiculous, Say geronimo, YouTube, mail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5755141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnityisKey/pseuds/Peaceandunity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mostly just a fic to get me writing again.<br/>A fourth-year American muggleborn Slytherin student getting a song stuck in their head the same day that a certain Gryffindor is missing due tournament related activities. Plus some purebloods getting an education. It's kinda ridiculous but should be at least a little funny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Geronimo

Say Geronimo

“Mh mmmmmm m m mmmmmmm,” I hum while adding minced newt eyes to my cauldron. Say geronimo say say geronimo. Say geronimo say say geronimo. Shut up. Ugh. Focus. What’s after eye of newt? Say geronimo. Stir counterclockwise 36 times. Say say geronimo. Say geronimo say say geronimo. “Uggh.”  
“Is there a problem Mr. Fisher?” Comes a drawing voice from behind me.  
“Fuck.” I mutter falling out of my chair in surprise. “No I’m good,” I say jumping to my feet and dusting myself off. Say geronimo say say geronimo. Say geronimo say say geronimo.  
“Very well then Mr. Fisher I expect to work in silence for the remainder of the class period and to write six inches on classroom decorum. Due end of next class,” Professor Snape drawls before continuing his rounds. Say geronimo… six inches is like a paragraph right… easy peasy. Say say geronimo. Ugh.  
“That bites Fisher but your humming really was starting to become bloody annoying,” comes the whispered voice of Theodore Nott. Say geronimo say say geronimo.saygeronimosaysaygeronimo. saygeronimosaysaygeronimosaygeronimosaysaygeronimosaygeronimosaysaygeronimo. Snap. Fuck. that was my last bloody quill.  
“I change my answer, Professor.” I say standing up and vanishing my potion with a wave of my hand causing Nott and Zabini to blink in surprise.  
“Hmm, Mr. Fisher. And didn’t I just ask you to remain quiet?”  
“Well, I’m changing my answer. You asked if there was a problem and I said no but there is. And unless you miraculously have access to youtube all of a sudden you can’t help me. I have had the refrain to this stupid song that I heard on MTV over the summer stuck in my head for the last three weeks. Muggles refer to it as an earworm and the only surefire way to get it out of your head is to listen to the song in its entirety. Only I don’t have access to the internet to look it up and there aren’t any other Americans let alone American muggleborns in this entire castle. I know. I’ve checked. Repeatedly. Also, a six-inch paper is a freaking paragraph and yea having to write a paragraph on classroom decorum is stupid af but I was writing longer essays in 5th grade and now I’m a fourth year. It’s silly. My sister's essays are four to five PAGES which for you freaking purebloods are pieces of paper cut to a uniform size. For essays and most standard documents, we use 9 and a half by 11 but books and the like are printed on a variety of sized pages. And I’m talking four 9 and a half by 11 pages in MLA format. Where it has to be size 12 with Times New Roman font. One inch margins. Double spaced. not 1.5 or 2.4 because the teacher always knows. No, that shit has to be standard. Plus that heading better be perfect or you’re screwed. then you have to make sure your grammar is perfect or you pretty much start at a B- before the teacher even reads the paper. And I’ve read y’alls writing. It’s totes obvi that none of you have seen an English class in years. If ever. And ugh. Your quills. WHY? Pens exist,” I reach wave my hand and a pen comes flying out of my bag. “See. Pen,” I say holding it up. “The inks inside and when you run out you throw it out, or recycle it if you are able to, and then you use a new one. Or you know. You could use pencils which use graphite to write even though we all call it lead. but they don’t use lead anymore because kids were dying. But graphite is super soft so it’s easily erased which make it a great material for pencils because it allows you to easily erase what you wrote/drew and correct it without wasting paper.”  
“Mr. Fisher. Do sit down or I’ll have to ask you to leave at once. And you have detention every night this week.” Says Snape trying not to seem intrigued.  
“Don’t bother Professor. I quit.” I shrink my caldron and shove my materials into my backpack.  
“What do you mean you quit. It’s too late to drop this course. It’s mid-semester.”  
“You misunderstand me, professor. I’m not quitting potions. Well not directly. I’m quitting Hogwarts. I’m gonna go pack my bags take a floo to the airport and take the first flight to America. Then I’m going to enroll at my local high school. Thank god I’ve been studying solo for the last couple years so I won’t be too far behind. And If I can’t get an official transcript from Dumbledore, you, or McGonagall, I’ll just forge one. Which won’t take too long. Then I’m going to go to school. A nice. Normal High School, where I don’t have to worry about being murdered for existing. Which is stupid because not only am I at the top of out year but I’m keeping you with my Muggle education simultaneously an y’all are groaning over having to write a couple of inches and memorize some butchered latin. Ooohhh… I should take Latin. I would easily ace the class… Man I’ll be able to take English again and even Algebra. Which I don’t like math but I’ve never seen any of you successfully multiply anything and that worries me. And I can take a foods class… and chemistry or some kind of science class and history. Ugh I’m already stoaked I’m gonna go owl my parents so they can purchase me a plane ticket and get me enrolled in school. Ew I’m gonna have to see my parents again. I’ll just tell them that no Wifi finally got to me. Which is easily believable. Man I haven’t been this excited since I got my letter. By guys Ima gonna be at the Owlery and then the dorms if you need me. Try not to need me.” I’m halfway out the door.  
“What’s youtube?” Asks a puzzled Malfoy. Say geronimo. Ugh. Don’t do it. Don’t do it Fisher. Don’t do it.  
“Youtube is a video hosting site,” I say before I can stop myself. Damnit. “Different than Netflix though which host movies, documentaries and television shows. Youtube is free to use and can be used by anyone with a television, computer, or smartphone, and an internet connection. If you want to make your own videos you can post pretty much anything. They frown against pirating shows and porn. It’s a combination of short films, music videos, vlogs, cat videos, and educational videos along with a billion other things. There are over 1 billion users, a 1/7 of the total population, and over 300 hours of content are uploaded every minute. It is the fastest growing website in the world. Ever. More people use youtube than watch any given television station or use any other social media. And no magic is involved. Just some amazingly talented creators, and wonderful programmers, and awesome viewers. We all came together and created something amazing. But since google bought youtube If you google a song it shows youtube content which makes it easier to navigate. God I miss the internet. Just owl me if you have any other questions about anything. I will totally answer. I’d give a demo but the tech would fry. But seriously, you guys have cars, radio, and vinyl but you don’t have internet or electricity. Oohhh I’ll be able to use my electric blanket again! Whoop. Heating charms inevitably wear off and I’m tired of waking up at 3am cuz no one seems to know what central heating is and the dorms are freezing and my charms never last the night. I’m going to leave now. Feel free to walk with me though. Unless you find stiring your now useless potions more enticing. but I want to get my letter sent ASAP.” I turn back around and exit the class. thud thud… what the…? I look over my shoulder and see three cautious Slytherin and two curious Grifyndor. I pause so they can catch up and see a few more students darting out of the potions classroom. Including a stumbling Weasley and a vaguely nervous Malfoy. I smirk and continue my walk to the owlery only stumbling once when I see Snape following up the rear. The entire potions class. How about that.  
“What’s television?” Asks Nott.  
“How to explain…? Okay I got it. You know when you read a book and you picture the story in your head?” They nodd. “Well tv shows and movies are when they get actors and actress to act out stories and they film it so that it can be watched later.”  
“What kind are there?”  
“Uh well if it can be thought of there’s probably someone willing to act in it/write it/film it. so everything.”  
“What’s the internet?” Oh no. How do I explain the internet.  
“Only of the greatest inventions in the history of forever. Only after clean water, shelter, farming and electricity. It’s...Indescribable. Go to the muggle world and use it sometime. If someone asks say you escaped a fanatical cult and that’s why you don’t know how to use it.” I push open the owlery doors and place my bag on a thankfully poop resistant table and get out a pen and a pad of paper. Dear mom and dad. Book me the next flight out of here… I have an earworm and need youtube stat. Love, your loving daughter. That’ll do it. Ugh I’m going to need to grow my hair back out. Eye roll. But internet is more than worth it. I stick my arm out a beautiful snowy owl lands on it. I tie my note to it. “My parents buddy. You know what to do.” I give the owl a treat and it flies off in a storm of feathers. “Geronimo,” I whisper staring after the owl. No going back now.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like it shoot me a message and I'll write more to the universe. Currently a poorly written one-shot in a slowly expanding series of them.


End file.
